The pros and cons of having a big dick

TV, movies, porn, music, and just general popular conception is that when it comes to penises "bigger is better". The reality of having a huge dick is more complicated. There are absolutely some upsides, some of them pretty great, but there are also many downsides and some are quite difficult to overcome, if not impossible.

Having a giant cock is neither all pro nor all con. Like every size, there are trade offs.

The pros of having a large penis

I would be lying if I said there weren't positive aspects of being well-endowed. To be honest, a lot of it comes down to leaning a bit into the societal conception of "bigger is better".

Pro: Never will be too small

A lot of men worry about being big enough to please a woman. There's a lot of misplaced angst about how size factors into sexual satisfaction, largely stemming from the "bigger is better" mantra. As any honest well-endowed man can tell you, size is not everything and skill is far more important in bed. But at least with a large penis you don't have to worry about a partner finding you to be too small.

Pro: Easier orgasms for some partners

Whether from just the excitement or having sex with a big penis or from actually being stimulated more, some partners will find it easier to climax with a larger dick. In particular, a thicker penis will provide more of a "stretching" and "filling" feeling for men and women. Men penetrated with a thick penis will find more pressure and stimulation on their prostate. Women taking a girthy dick may find that they experience G spot stimulation without the use of specific positions or angles. For women a longer penis can also reach to the posterior and anterior fornices, which can be very stimulating.

Pro: Word of mouth

Humans are naturally fascinated by the unusual, and have an innate love of gossip. Large penises fall under that umbrella of unusual and great to gossip about. Whether it's a woman taking sex with her friends or a man talking about what he saw in the locker room, word of a man's excessive endowment inevitably becomes the subject of gossip. While some are content to merely gossip, for others learning of a large penis changes their personal sexual attraction equation.

Pro: Bulging

For many larger men there can be no hiding the snake in their trousers. For men that think that bulging is an attractive quality, and for potential partners out there engaging in crotch spectating, it's a lot easier to pull off a decent bulge with a lot already in your pants.

Pro: Showing off

Let's be honest: a large penis can be fun to look at, and opens a whole world of possibilities for showing off. Whip it out and do the helicopter or wrap it around a wrist or just shimmy your hips to send it flopping to and fro.

Pro: Locker rooms

As much as men are crippled by anxiety about being judged as lacking in the dick department by a partner, they're also apprehensive of the judgement of other men they're not even sexually attracted to. The gym shower and locker room are a source of stress for a lot of men, fearful of being judged as small. Guys with larger penises, especially shower dicks, don't have to fear that. In fact, their size may actually draw attention.

Pro: Dick pics

Simply put, large penises look impressive and are easier to photograph. While even big guys struggle with their dicks not looking as big through the camera as it does in reality, that "not as big" scaling also applies to men that aren't as large.

Pro: Profit potential

The recent advent of amateur pornography and the rise of OnlyFans has given some well-endowed men the potential to rake in cash off their monster dongs. While there's a lot more that goes into being a successful male adult star, having a huge cock certainly won't hurt.

Pro: Confidence

Almost every one of these pros boils down to confidence. Having something that is perceived by society to be a positive attribute is a definite confidence booster. How can you not feel good about having a massive hog in your pants? Why shouldn't you like being the envy of other men?

Well…

The cons of having a large penis

Being well-endowed is not all sunshine and roses. Bigger is not always better, and there's a certain point where you cross over into "too big" and those pros start to be overtaken by the many cons. The confidence of a big penis can only take you so far when you run head-first into reality.

Con: You can be too big

There is such a thing as "too big". That might be a hard thing to accept, and that line is different for each person. But everybody has their limits. Some are willing to try and push those limits, but many aren't. They lay eyes on a truly huge dick and say "You're not putting that inside me." That rejection can really hurt.

Con: Lots foreplay and lube are mandatory

I'll always advocate for the importance of foreplay in sex with any size of penis. There's so much more to good sex than just thrusting your dick in and out. When you've got a big dick, however, foreplay becomes mandatory, often a lot of it. Your partner must be properly warmed up before they are ready for penetration. Lube is also mandatory; very few women produce nearly enough natural lubricant to handle the sustained action of a thick penis. There's absolutely no shame I'm having lube on standby to help ease things along.

Con: No quickies

Extensive mandatory foreplay and lube also take quickies off the table. When successful sex requires a 30-minute warmup session and loads of lube that'll need cleanup afterwards, there's rarely anything "quick" about sex with a big dick. Certainly, it's very difficult to sneak off at a party for a quick fuck in a bathroom or anything like that.

Con: Limited sex positions

Excess length poses a real problem with heterosexual sex: vaginas are not bottomless chasms and the cervix at the back end is for most women very sensitive in a painful way. They really do not enjoy having their cervix bashed by a rock hard dick. Which means that certain positions like the ever-popular doggy are generally off limits, and others like cowgirl, missionary, and prone bone should be favored to avoid thrusting too deep. A penis bumper like an OhNut can also help limit thrusting depth. Oh, and with a long penis it can also be unfortunately easy to tap up against an intrauterine device contraceptive device, IUD strings can poke right against the head.

Con: Vaginal tearing

Sex is hard enough on the vagina with an average penis, with a huge one it can be borderline traumatic. Bleeding and tearing fissures are common such very thick penises. This makes going hard and pounding away very painful for the woman, if not in the moment but soon after. Lube and foreplay can help somewhat, but restraint is often important. For men that have abused their dicks and developed death grip syndrome this limitation can be frustrating and make reaching climax even more difficult.

Con: Vaginal soreness

No matter how much foreplay and lube you use, even if you stick to big-dick-safe positions and go gently, it's still a large preventative object and she can still end up with an aching vagina afterwards. On top of her being in pain and potentially causing distress for her big dick partner from having caused that pain, such soreness often lingers for long enough to leave her uninterested in sex again the next day, much less going for a same-day round two. Weekend-long fuckathons aren't really a thing when a large penis is involved.

Con: Anal

The human anus isn't designed for penetration, but that hasn't stopped generation after generation of men from putting' it in da butt. Anal sex requires a fair amount of preparation even with an average penis and can still be uncomfortable; a larger one takes even more work. That's if they're even up for trying; many men with very thick dicks just have written off the thought of ever even trying anal, after being repeatedly and consistently denied back door access by multiple partners.

Con: Condoms

No matter what you were told in sex ed class, condoms are not "one size fits all." Regular size condoms do fit most men, because most men have close-to-average penises, but for men in both the small and large extreme what you can buy in stores is rarely even close to sufficient. Even so-called "large" condoms don't fit truly large men, leaving them with no choice but to shop online for wider condoms.

Con: Blowjobs

Just like with vaginal and anal sex, oral sex with a large penis simply bumps up against the unfortunate limitations of human anatomy. Most people can't open their mouths that far, and not for long periods. On top of that, the space inside the mouth can't be made any wider. It doesn't take much extra girth over the average before you start running into insurmountably toothy roadblocks.

Con: Bulging

While bulging can be a pro if that's something you desire, there are plenty of situations where that's not appropriate. And when you're trying to balance comfort and discretion with a very large penis (and perhaps large testicles too) it can be incredibly difficult to successfully obscure the bulge. A significant bulge caused by a large soft penis can also lead to mistaken assumptions about one's state of arousal, which can be awkward at best and relationship- or career-damaging at worst.

Con: Hiding erections

For as frustrating as soft bulge managing can be for well-endowed men, all bets are off once a giant boner enters the equation. A large soft penis can be tucked and squished out of the way, and large hard one not so much. There's no hiding it; down the pant leg or across the hip is far too obvious, while tucking it up into the waistband like many men like to do could lead to putting on an inadvertent peep show with multiple inches of dick sticking out.

Con: Underwear

The underwear you can buy in most stores is designed with average men in mind. It makes sense that it wouldn't fit men with huge junk, after all they're a very rare potential customer, and many just accept ill-fitting undergarments as a fact of life. Pouch Underwear that can comfortably contain and control big penises exists, but it's rarely cheap thanks to the limited customer base. It can also be very difficult to find a protective athletic cup to comfortably hold and guard the oversized goods.

Con: Toilets

Long penises can cause issues with toilets in multiple ways. For guys that are very large soft, in some toilets it’s easy to end up touching porcelain or the water itself just by hanging — that surprise contact is a very unpleasant form of revulsion. A larger penis when erect can cause real issues when using a toilet as well; any man can have issues with angling a boner down into the bowl when sitting, but guys with very long penises can run into the issue of it simply being too long for the bowl. These issues are all exacerbated by older toilets in North America, which tend to have higher water levels and bowls that are more round than elliptical.

Con: Inflated ego

There’s a fine line between drawing some confidence from having a huge cock and letting it go to your head. Having a giant penis does not make you a “better” man in any way, shape, or form, no matter what pop culture implies. But when everything around you is saying that “bigger is better”, it can be really hard to not feel a sense of superiority. That can also translate into laziness in bed, with many some men feeling like being big is enough and not putting in proper effort to actually please their partner.

Con: Jealousy

You can’t control how other people react to your endowment, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck when other men become outwardly hostile about it. Society’s objectification of large penises has led to a lot of men feeling inadequate and insecure about reasonably average sized penises. So when they lay eyes on somebody that has a very large one, either implied via a bulge or actually seen in a situation like a locker room or bathroom, they can’t help but feel jealousy about it. Sometimes that manifests in outright hostility.

Con: Objectification

The flip-side of that reaction coin is outright objectification. Having bought into the myth of bigger=better, some people slip into full-fledged giant cock lust mode upon learning of a man’s prodigious endowment. Their relationship, be it a friendship or just an acquaintance, becomes all about the big dick. While being an object of animalistic sexual desire can be fun, when that’s the only dimension to the relationship it gets old fast. Some nominally heterosexual men can also get weird about another man’s large penis, becoming needlessly subservient or worshipful in other aspects of life just because of what’s in his pants.

Con: Nobody believes you or your problems

Thanks to the dramatic skewing of public penis size perception, it seems like every guy is out there claiming 7 or 8 inches. They’re more than likely exaggerating, but that means that those that actually do have 7 or 8 or 9 inches of penis are more likely to either believed to be around average-sized by those that have bought into the fibbing or to be judged as typical guys doing the typical lie by those that do know better about the actual 5.5-inch average penis length. On top of that, the popular conception of big penises being superior means that many of the above problems with being very large aren’t even considered as a possibility, and are often dismissed as not significant when brought up.