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Growing Cucumbers

First things first, let's define our terms. What exactly is a grower and a shower?

  • Grower: a penis that grows a lot from flaccid to erect.
  • Shower: a penis that doesn't grow much from flaccid to erect.
  • Hung: a penis that is very large both soft and hard.
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The whole idea is that a grower offers a lot more than it seems, while a shower is showing most of what you'll get. It's a matter of ratios, not inches.

Note that being hung has nothing to do with being a grower or a shower (or having a penis that grows a statistically average amount — i.e. normal growth range, or where most of us fall). Note that grower and shower and normal are mutually exclusive terms — you can be one or the other but you can't be both.

But what does it mean to grow "a lot"? Glad you asked. It's time for some math. Or you can jump straight to the calculator and enter your numbers

Grower vs. Shower: Length

We'll start with length, since that's the most visually obvious and what people think of the most when they think of grower vs. shower.

The length of the average flaccid penis is 9.0 cm (3.6 inches), with a standard deviation of 1.5 cm (0.6 inches). And erect, the average length is 14.0 cm (5.5 inches) with a standard deviation of 1.7 cm (0.7 inches). Working with that, we can extract a "low and high average" for both measurements, centering the SD over the average (the middle 40%):

Length Avg SD Low Avg High Avg
Flaccid 9.0 cm (3.6 inches) 0.75 cm (0.3 inches) 8.3 cm (3.3 inches) 9.7 cm (3.8 inches)
Erect 14.1 cm (5.6 inches) 1.7 cm (0.7 inches) 13.2 cm (5.2 inches) 15.0 cm (5.9 inches)

Taking those high and low averages, we can compute some size differentials, low to high and high to low.

Differential Flaccid Erect Growth %
Low flaccid to high erect 8.3 cm (3.3 inches) 15.0 cm (5.9 inches) 80%
Average flaccid to erect 9.0 cm (3.6 inches) 14.1 cm (5.6 inches) 57%
High flaccid to low erect 9.7 cm (3.8 inches) 13.2 cm (5.2 inches) 36%

So with those numbers, when it comes to length anything from 35% to 80% flaccid-to-erect growth is within the "normal" range, neither a shower nor a grower. If your growth percentage is less than 35%, you're a shower; more than 80% and you're a grower.

Length growth:

Shower < 35% < Normal < 80% < Grower

Grower vs. Shower: Girth

We spent a lot of energy thinking about penis length, but girth is always the more consequential of measurements. And you can be a grower or a shower in this department as well, even if it isn't as visually obvious.

Let's look at our averages here.

Girth Avg SD Low Avg High Avg
Flaccid 8.8 cm (3.5 inches) 0.9 cm (0.4 inches) 8.3 cm (3.3 inches) 9.3 cm (3.6 inches)
Erect 11.5 cm (4.5 inches) 1.3 cm (0.5 inches) 10.8 cm (4.3 inches) 12.1 cm (4.8 inches)

Same with the lengths, we can take the low and high averages and use those to compute size differentials:

Differential Flaccid Erect Growth %
Low flaccid to high erect 8.3 cm (3.3 inches) 12.1 cm (4.8 inches) 45%
Average flaccid to erect 8.8 cm (3.5 inches) 11.5 cm (4.5 inches) 30%
High flaccid to low erect 9.3 cm (3.6 inches) 10.8 cm (4.3 inches) 15%

Looking at girth, anybody whose circumference increases by more than 45% qualifies as a grower, while those with less than 15% growth are showers.

Girth growth:

Shower < 15% < Normal < 45% < Grower

Grower vs. Shower: Volume

And let's roll it all together for the ultimate grower or shower comparison: volume! I'm just going with a simple cylinder calculation here. Yes, penises are not perfect cylinders, but this is more about the difference in volume than the raw numbers themselves. Besides, you weren't planning to perform a water-displacement measurement of your erection, were you? (No standard deviations here because these are just derived numbers)

Girth Avg Low Avg High Avg
Flaccid 55.5 ml (1.9 fl oz) 45.5 ml (1.5 oz) 66.8 ml (2.3 oz)
Erect 148.4 ml (5.0 fl oz) 122.5 ml (4.1 oz) 174.8 ml (5.9 oz)

And then we can take those numbers and do a simple volume differential comparison. So let's do that.

Differential Flaccid Erect Growth %
Low flaccid to high erect 45.5 ml (1.5 oz) 174.8 ml (5.9 oz) 286%
Average flaccid to erect 55.5 ml (1.9 oz) 148.4 ml (5.0 oz) 166%
High flaccid to low erect 66.8 ml (2.3 oz) 122.5 ml (4.1 oz) 83%

And with this final master comparison, a difference in volume from flaccid to erect greater than 290% (let's round to a nice clean number) would qualify you as a grower, while a difference that's smaller than 80% makes you a shower. Anything between is just in the normal range. This just goes to show how big of a difference girth makes when you factor it into your idea of what is "big".

Volume growth

Shower < 80% < Normal < 290% < Grower

So what are you? A grower or shower or something in between?

After all this, it's worth remembering that length is typically the only measurement in the discussion of shower vs. grower. So we'll just recap that:

  • Big both soft and hard? Hung.
  • Dick doubles in length (or more)? Grower.
  • Dick grows by about half to two thirds? Normal.
  • Dick grows by less than a third? Shower.