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man walking on the shore near green coconut tree

Every guy dreads it when getting out of the water: your swimsuit clings just the wrong way and reveals exactly what you're working with to the world. It doesn't help that colder water or colder air can lead to immediate shrinkage, while guys equipped with large soft dicks can find themselves absolutely mortified by the display they've just put on.

Thankfully there are some things you can do to minimize the risk of displaying your anatomy so conspicuously to the world.

The type of swim short matters

Obviously, Speedo-style swim briefs are out of the question. Everybody's going to know what you're packing right from the outset. Also not really an option: board shorts. While these are certainly among the most comfortable options, hanging free and loose under the fabric also means you're free and loose to get cling all around your cock.

The easiest option is to wear swim shorts with a traditional mesh liner. These will hold your junk closer to your body.

Go dark and go busy

Light, solid colors will show the highlights and shadows contrast of wet fabric suctioned around your dick more than darker colors and patterns. Darker colors help simply by lowering the visibility threshold — it's harder to cast a visible shadow on dark blue or black than it is on bright red.

Patterns are the go-to in camouflage design, and they're also a great option in camouflaging a massive dick print in swimsuits. Of course, you don't have to opt for a woodland concealment pattern — any mix of shapes and colors will help to break up any bulging outlines.

Layering with a Speedo underneath

I know, I know, you already found the idea of swim shorts with a liner built for averagely endowed men uncomfortable. But if you're still unhappy with the amount that you're showing, you can wear a tight swim brief or compression shorts underneath the shorts to really crush everything in place.

Of course, the tradeoff with crushing everything into place is that you're crushing everything. While a large penis can easily compress, large balls are much more sensitive to pressure so a tighter undergarment might not be the greatest option for you.

Break the suction

You've tried your best with all the above, but you're still stuck with the saturated fabric of your swimsuit wrapped around your legs and your dong like Saran Wrap. What to do?

Simple: As you get out of the water, tug out on the legs of your shorts to break the suction seal with your skin. This will let in air, both providing a more natural hang to your shorts and adding ventilation that'll help your shorts dry faster.

Fuck it

You're at the beach or the pool to have fun, get some sun, workout, spend time with friends, build a sand castle, whatever. Do that, don't worry about how much your dick shows when you get out of the water. It's not your fault you're packing some serious salami down there. Why should you have to go out of your way to disguise it?

Andrew Christian Phys. Ed. Varsity swim shorts

A relaxed and classic look for the pool or beach, in a plain black design that won't show off too much when wet.

Andrew Christian Holiday swim shorts

Bright, fun colors in a bulge-obscuring pattern that'll serve you well in whatever wet times the summer has in store.

Andrew Christian Del Sol swim shorts

Fun and casual while subtly sporting a Pride motif, these shorts will draw more attention to your personality than your junk.