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The dinner went amazing. You hit it off amazingly well, you've got just enough in common that you get along well but still have plenty that's different to talk about. Afterwards you went on a meandering walk through the neighborhood and end up at her place. She invites you in. Things get heated fast. Her skirt come off. Your shirt is discarded. She drops to her knees, grabs onto your pants, shoves them down, and comes face-to-face with your massive rock-hard cock flying out of its restraints like a spring. Her eyes go wide and her smile fades as she stands up and grabs her clothes, saying "No way. Not gonna happen."

But the night had been going so well…

faceless couple having date in restaurant

The common conception of life with a big dick is that it's all sunshine and roses. Leaving aside the fact that a large penis does not endow its owner with anything other than some extra flesh, setting aside all of the prep work and supplies required for successful sex, what they miss is that those with truly large penises also encountered heart-breaking rejection due to their size. And it sucks so much.

If you've run into this, or you're heading out into the dating world and wondering how you can head off such misery at the pass, here are some things to know.

There's no way to tell if a woman can handle a large dick

Just as penis size is not correlated with the size of a man's body, the capacity of a woman's vagina is also not linked to her height or waist size or race or whatever you want.

There are some tall and heavy women that struggle with an even slightly above average dick, and petite skinny ones that can take monster dicks to the hilt. There's no way to look at a woman and know if she'll be able to handle you.

It's worth keeping in mind that as most men have a close-to-average penis, most women will also have a close-to-average vagina that's evolved to be maximally compatible with those close-to-average penises. So that means that even when fully arouse a penis girthier than 5.5 inches will be a tight fit, and one longer than 7 inches will stand a decent chance of bottoming out and striking her cervix (especially if she's a slimmer gal and thus has less external padding).

Be prepared with skills and supplies

Knowing what you're doing can go a long way towards smoothing the path to entry. Make sure your foreplay game is on point and have access to lube.

An apprehensive potential partner is also one that's likely experienced men just wanting to dive right in with penetrative intercourse. The problem is that vaginas perform best even with average and smaller penises when they've had a chance to warm up. So take your time with foreplay; you'll be able to feel as her vaginal muscles relax and you'll be able to fit in more of your fingers and tongue.

You'll want to gauge your progress in warming her up with your fingers. Compare the width of your erect penis to your fingers; for example, my penis is roughly about as wide as three of my fingers. So when I'm going down on a woman, I like to make sure that I can fit those three fingers in her before I even think about putting my dick in. If she's begging for my cock but it's our first time together, I'll hold fast to that rule. Besides, it's not a bad thing to make her squirm with anticipation.

Bonus: Most women don't get off from penetration alone, so making her orgasm a few times with foreplay will ensure that she is also having a great time before you go to town. And it won't hurt to know the sex positions that work well with a huge cock.

Don't be afraid of lube, either. Friction is the enemy, and lube is absolutely your friend. Unless she's a woman that gets absolutely sopping wet, there is no harm in applying some lubrication to help ease things along. Just as being prepared with properly sized condoms is the smart thing for a man to do, having lube on hand is also of great importance.

When to say something

Men that have experienced rejection due to their huge size are prone to want nothing more when starting a relationship than to avoid that pain again. It's a terrible feeling being turned down for something so entirely out of your control.

But the hard truth is there is no good way to warn a woman until it's almost time for her to find out anyway. If you're upfront about it in a dating app profile, then you're bound to turn away many good relationship prospects and attract women just interested in you for sex (and they may not realize the hurdles of a truly large cock to being with).

Bringing it up early in dating isn't likely to work well, due to a number of factors. While the odds of your date having experienced a very large penis are slim, the odds of her having an exaggerated impression of penis size (the "girl inches" phenomenon) are high. You can thank other men for lying about their actual size for that. So there's a chance she'll just think you're close to average and since "all the guys say they're 8 inches" or she'll think you're lying. Worst of all, she may see you as a braggadocious douchebag that's just saying whatever you think it will take to get her in bed.

There are only two good ways to warn about your size and they're both contingent upon her providing the opportunity. The first is if she brings it up penis size. The second is when it becomes obvious that you're heading towards sex. But both of those are still touchy situations where coming off as boastful could derail the whole affair.

So even when the organically opportunity presents itself, it's best to be humble and playful about your size. It's better to provide a size reference to an object of known size than your dimensions, unless she really presses for the specifics of your size.

Don't get upset

But you have to be prepared for the fact that such a warning opportunity may not occur, in which case you're rolling the dice on if she'll freak out upon sighting your member. Your heart's already going to be racing, so take a moment to calm yourself down for the presentation.

While I'm a strong proponent of "No means no," it doesn't necessarily mean "the end" right then and there. If she's apprehensive about attempting intercourse with a dick as big as yours, try to assuage her fears. You'll use lube, you'll engage in plenty of foreplay, you won't attempt penetration until she says she's ready and there's no pressure to do it right now at all. You can try again on a later night, because she's worth waiting.

And if she's fully opposed to you ever sticking your penis inside her vagina, that doesn't mean you two still can't have fun. There's no saying that two consenting adults can't go down on each other and then not have sex. Blow each other's minds by blowing each other instead. You'll both get your jollies and can then go your separate ways (or keep blowing each other, if you're down for that).

There's the chance that she could just say no altogether and despite your bargaining is just no longer interested. And that's fair. For some women, a penis of a particular size is a dealbreaker, and she's just not interested in pursuing any further activities with somebody that is not going to lead to a viable long-term relationship. While it hurts to hear that, it's also a totally reasonable stance to have. After all, why bother wasting time and money and emotion courting someone when it's never going to go where you want it to go?

Sexual incompatibility is a real thing and when it happens it sucks for everybody involved. It's deeply painful when you're rejected for something entirely outside of your control, especially when it's a trait you may have looked on favorably. But it's not your fault, and it's not her fault. Sometimes that's just how life is.

But if you're smart about it, walking in with an open and humble mind, with the necessary skills, supplies, patience, and understanding, then you'll have done the best that you can. Maybe it won't work. Maybe you'll fuck the daylights out of each other. Either way, you'll have given it your best shot.

Best supplies to make sex easier with a big dick

Astroglide water-based sexual lubricant

There's zero shame in helping things slide right along, and few lubes do that better or more affordably than Astroglide.

Überlube silicone-based sexual lubricant

Silicone-based lubes like Überlube are safe for internal use and with condoms, and doesn't dry out anywhere near as quickly as water-based lubes.

Ohnut depth limiters

Dick's just too long and you keep smashing your lady's cervix? Throw a few Ohnut depth limiting rings around your base to provide a stop before you go too far.