"Condoms are one size fits all," the teacher said as she stretched a condom over her hand and up her arm. It was my sophomore year of high school and I was stuck in what I would later realize was a pretty middling sex ed program. While it wasn't an abstinence-only sex education I was receiving, it wasn't much better than that.
I was still an introverted virgin and completely clueless I was packing a monster cock. But I remember sitting there as she pulled this seemingly small latex sheath down to her elbow and around her forearm, thinking that yeah that makes sense. After all, look at how much that's stretching. She made eye contact with multiple girls in the class, "If a boy tries to tell you his penis is too big for a condom, he's lying."
I internalized that statement and carried it with me, and it lead to plenty of frustration when I finally had sex for the first time. And the next few times after that, before I started realizing what was wrong.
And I wasn't the only one:
If a boy ever tells you he's too big for a condom, please send him this pic.twitter.com/SBEjF0p7lW— pants (@QuartzPumpkin) July 13, 2015
For the vast majority of men, that is true. Standard size condoms will fit just fine. The majority of men have average-sized penises, and regular size condoms are made to fit just that, and even a bit more. And few will ever contest the applicability of smaller condom sizes for dicks that are slimmer than average, but larger penises being best fit by larger condoms is apparently a point of derision and mockery? That doesn't seem fair.
So let's get some facts out there. Hands, heads, and legs are all supported and structured by bones and muscles. They are rigid and resilient bodies that can easily handle a great deal of pressure and still function. But the penis is not that, it is a blood sponge in a skin balloon, held aloft by blood pressure.
There's no muscle or bone in there to provide support, and the restrictive nature of a too-small condom isn't just uncomfortable, but it can clamp down on blood vessels throughout the penis and make it more difficult to maintain an erection. Wearing too small of a condom can also reduce sensation and thus pleasure, and they're more prone to breaking and thus increase the risk of accidental pregnancy or STI transmission.
Condoms exist in a wide range of sizes for the same reason clothes do. Sure, you could squeeze into a pair of jeans two sizes too small for you, but it won't be comfortable and it won't look good either. Just as you should wear pants that are properly fitted to your body, so too should you wear a condom that's properly fitted to your penis.
An exceptionally small number of men have a penis so small or so large that commercially available condoms won't fit — they come in a huge size range. There is no excuse for the rest of us, there is a condom out there that will fit you.