What’s with the “big dicks are lazy in bed” stereotype?

There's a commonly held stereotype about well-endowed men: we suck in bed. We're lazy. We just think that having a big dick is all it takes to satisfy a woman.

There is a kernel of truth to that, but just a kernel. The problem is that men with big dicks are lazy at sex — it's that all men in general are lazy at sex, but when it's sex with a large penis then it's going to be more painful and more memorable (not in a good way).

It's a simple truth that a lot of men are just bad at sex. We get a poor education on what it takes to succeed in bed, and it shows. Sex education curriculum is generally abysmal. Pornography is dominated by unrealistic examples of sex that especially give big guys bad ideas. There's often a toxic masculinity culture where men think that they must be dominant in bed. And the flip side of that is that women often feel like they cannot speak up for themselves during sex, so they just suffer through bad sex, draw a conclusion about their experience, and move on.

Throw a big dick into that mix and suddenly it goes from mediocre sex to downright bad. Poor choice of positions, a failure to use lube, and a lack of foreplay will result in awkward, painful, and unsatisfying sex for all parties involved. Caution and attentiveness is required when having sex with a large penis.

It doesn't have to be that way. And while having a huge cock comes with its benefits, it also has downsides. One of those is the requirement to be a more considerate and thoughtful lover, lest you fulfill the stereotype.

How to have good sex with a big dick

So what does a well-endowed man need to break through this stereotype and be a rockstar in bed? Well, you've got to do the same things that every other guy should be doing in bed, but more because big dicks are a lot of work.

1. Lots of foreplay. I cannot overstate the importance of quality foreplay in successful sex. Women typically don't just "turn on" like a light switch, and the larger the dick the more time she'll need to get warmed up and relaxed enough to accommodate it. The bonus is that a large portion of women have trouble climaxing from penetrative intercourse alone, so with good foreplay you can ensure she's having a great time too.
2. Use lube. There's absolutely no shame in easing things along. When it comes to sex, what you've seen in porn does not apply — if you're dragging her vagina out with your dick then you're probably not using nearly enough lube. Too much friction is the enemy. Get a good water-based lube or a nice silicone-based lube and be liberal with its application. Avoid oil-based lubes, as these degrade condoms.
3. Stick to good positions. There are certain positions that are not at all good for a longer penis, and other sex positions that work well for big dicks. In general, stay away from positions that allow for deeper penetration, lest you bash her cervix (most women are not at all into that). This means that some popular choices like doggy should be avoided.
4. Exercise patience and restraint. Take your time and don't rush things. You might have to put in more foreplay than you expect, or have to hold back from going hog-wild. Every woman's different and so too is the amount of time it will take her to get used to your size. It might even take several attempts before she's ready, and while that can be frustrating your patience will be rewarded.
5. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner. There's a lot more talking to sex than you might expect from porn. Talk to your partner and listen to them, be honest and open about what is and isn't working for you, and demand the same from them. Sex is a cooperative act, and it only works well if you're both comfortable speaking up for yourselves. If somebody needs to stop, then stop. If she's giving you good signs, then keep doing what you're doing.