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Simple geometry has conspired against men with wide penises to lead to a life of mediocre-to-bad blow jobs. While length can present some oral sex issues, a girthy penis poses some insurmountable problems that will make attempts at traditional fellatio frustrating and even painful.

It's not your fault. It's simply the penis you've got. So we need to work around it… literally.

Open wide

The biggest hurdle to blowing a big dick is that they're mis-matched with average-sized mouths. According to a 2008 dental study, the average space between the rear two molars of men is 45 mm (1.77 inches) and in women it's 43mm (1.70 inches). So, the average mouth is only 44 mm / 1.75 inches wide, which is only slightly wider than the average penis's girth of 11.6cm / 4.55 inches. It doesn't take much more than that average to start running into teeth contact.

Men with a penis around 5 inches girth can expect to make contact with the inner sides of molars, while those 5.5 inches girth will be making contact with crowns of those molars.

And that's assuming you can easily get past the front teeth. According to a separate 2012 study on how wide people could open their mouths, the average man could stretch his mouth open 51 mm / 2.02 inches while the average woman could open up 44 mm / 1.73 inches. That's the absolute maximum they could open, which is straining and not comfortable to maintain for a long time.

Interestingly, the width across three fingers is roughly equal to the extent that person can open their jaw. Go ahead and try fitting three fingers stacked vertically into your mouth. It's not comfortable. Even two fingers can be an uncomfortable amount to open your mouth for a long period. Now imagine doing that for several minutes sucking on a thick penis.

And for the man with the girthy dick, the pain from teeth scraping across the head and shaft can be excruciating, not to mention the risk of breaking the skin and drawing blood. Human teeth are meant for tearing apart and mashing up plants and meat — they're not great for penises.

How to blow a big dick

So are shitty blow jobs just our lot in life? Are we doomed to sub-par fellatio because of our giant dongs? Not quite.

Sure, you're not going to be able to shove your whole cock into your partner's mouth as in a traditional blow job — this isn't a whole you can foreplay or lube into compliance. You might be able to get some marginal gains in how far the mouth can open with lots of stretching over a long period of time, but you're not going to improve the spacing between the molars without a professional dental appliance to expand the palate and jaw.

The first step is admitting that it's not working. Both people involved need to be comfortable with expressing their struggles — both the person performing oral sex and the pain of keeping their jaw open so wide for so long, and the person being blown expressing that they're experiencing pain from teeth scraping across their dick.

Some women and gay men can be quite proud of their oral sex skills, and rightfully so. But that can also make breaking the news that their mouth just isn’t big enough a hard blow. They may not even be aware to the degree their teeth are hurting. When this inevitably comes up, express your appreciation for their enthusiasm and effort, but note that "my dick has more nerve endings than your molars."

So what to do? Focus on the head. Suck it, lick it, slobber all over it. Don't try taking the shaft deep into your mouth. Then use your hand(s) on the shaft, especially with a twisting motion while moving up and down on it. It's something like a hybrid blow job / hand job, and when done right it can be immensely satisfying. Especially when compared to a toothy blow job.